A Pumpkin Spice Intervention
The first step is admitting you have a first world problem, but the real question is, will you accept treatment? Here's how to identify the six stages of Pumpkin Spice Syndrome.
Experimentation – At first, you’re skeptical. “It’s not even October yet!” you say under your breath, scoffing at the premature pumpkin decor. “It does smell pretty great though. Eh, what the hell.” Little do you know, your life is about to get WAY better for the next two months.
Regular Use – Hazelnut? More like HazelNOT. French vanilla is equally dead to you. There’s just something about starting your day with a steaming cup of fall that really gets you in the seasonal spirit. You now totally (and proudly) understand the phrase, "Pumpkin spice everything!"
Dependence – Okay, so you know sugar is bad for you. But pumpkin is a vegetable, right? Right. One more cup won’t kill you. Besides, everyone and their mom is caught up in the pumpkin spice craze. “Everyone knows that,” you tell yourself on the way to the coffee machine for the 4th time today. Can’t go to that meeting without it, after all.
Addiction – Sprawled on the floor writhing in an olfactory frenzy, you’ve become what you once loathed: a full-blown pumpkin spice addict. Seriously. Your house is full of candles, air sprays and scented pillows (what?). Not to mention you’ve started baking anything and everything that even remotely contains a hint of the flavor. Gotta get your fix, but not before your friends and family sit you down to explain that you’re dangerously close to the end of the season and this has to stop. Now.
Denial – I’m sorry, what do you mean fall doesn’t last forever?! Were they right? It’s getting colder which means winter’s coming. No, this can’t be happening. Pumpkin spice could fit in perfectly well at Christmas, just give it a chance, people! But no. bye-bye best season (and flavors) ever. In an effort to combat your denial, you start hoarding office K-cups “just in case”.
Withdrawal – C’mon, man. It’s almost February. Which means only six months until pumpkin spice season starts all over again and you can again drown in its flavorful splendor. Until then, gingerbread will have to do. Hey, at least you’re not twerking.