Happiness Is...

When most people think about what makes them happy, I’d bet it’s something obvious. My husband. My children. My brand new XYZ. But when’s the last time they answered “me”?

For the past nine months I’ve been working from home as a freelancer. I have A LOT of time to myself. I can wake up when I want. I can eat when I want. I can even take naps when I want. With no concrete schedule or place to be, you can expect to get a little stir crazy. And that’s exactly what happened about a month in. So I decided to go on a journey. No, I haven't been traveling the world or up and down the coastline. I've been on the road to bettering myself in body, mind, and spirit.

Let me say first, I’m not one to dwell on things. I believe the past makes you stronger and to grow, you need to learn from it. But I had just lost my job and was trying to make ends meet. That first month spent unemployed was the hardest. Going from working a 9-5 in an office full of your best friends to sitting on the couch watching reruns of Dawson’s Creek with your cats made me feel, well, pathetic. But in the depths of my self-pity, I came across a YouTube video that would change everything. I pressed play.

There she was, Cassey Ho, creator of Blogilates, certified Pilates instructor, dancing around her living room in sneaker wedges to Gangnam Style. I dove headfirst into her channel, finding workouts, recipes, FAQs, and even personal vlogs covering anything from making your boobs bigger to how to deal with personal failure. The amount of content was overwhelming but it was presented in a way that was fun, inspirational, and most importantly, normal. A lot of health and fitness gurus are super tan, have eight packs (seriously?!), and have nice lighting that doesn’t show sweat. But Cassey made videos in her bedroom, laughed when she fell over during Starfish and told you stories about her life. She was just being herself. And that’s what got me hooked. 

Now, I always thought I was an active girl. I was a martial artist for almost 11 years. I loved biking and taking walks, hiking and dancing in my underwear. I’d quit smoking and had never been sick enough to raise concern. And I ate relatively healthy. But once I started following Cassey’s monthly calendars and became a part of the Blogilates community, it was apparent what I was missing all along—inner peace.

What you can't see is how much happier I am on the inside!

Losing a job I loved caused me to feel a lot of negative emotions and lash out in the wrong ways. I wasn’t dealing with my problems. I was perpetuating them. So I found an outlet for all that pent up anger and remorse in exercising each day—not only my body, but my mind as well. It wasn’t easy getting started. In fact, I was really frustrated that I wasn’t seeing results. Here I was sweating my ass off, barely being able to walk for a few days afterwards. You'd think I'd get a sign that it was worth it. But I kept going. In all her videos, blog posts, and social media content, Cassey taught me that it’s okay to fail. It’s the moment you get up and try again that matters.

I started pushing myself harder and developing an inner discipline I hadn’t seen since my Tae Kwon Do days. I started recognizing little victories and man did they add up. It wasn’t an overnight change. It took time and commitment and a little bit of encouragement from my fellow Popsters, but I had made positivity a huge part of my life and it showed. I was more energetic. I slept easier. I was genuinely happy. And I looked (and felt) better than I had in my entire life. 

I know now that being healthy is about the little things, the things that make you the best you. One of my favorite lessons I’ve learned on this journey is that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Just because I don’t have a “real job” doesn’t mean I’m any less of a writer, a professional or a person. It doesn’t mean anything really. What matters is that I’m happy. It’s just a bonus that I’m now compelled to share it with anyone who will listen.

So I ask again: What makes you happy? Whatever it is—a nice home-cooked meal, a good conversation with a friend or completing that last HIIT circuit—don’t do it because it’s obvious or because you have to. Do it because you love it. Eventually, loving yourself won’t seem so farfetched.

Wanna try Blogilates for yourself? Get Cassey's Beginner's Calendar :)